Leaving the Nest PT1

The Journal of;
Daniel Smith
In regards to finally
Leaving the nest.

Friday, August 21st, 2015 at 10:40pm
“Day Zero”

I write this opening entry in my bedroom; the bedroom that, for over eight years now, I could safely call my own. But tonight everything changes, for tomorrow this room will no longer me my bedroom, but simply an empty bedroom.

For years I have imagined my own freedom; pacing back and forth along the aged blue carpet, rambling on and on to myself about the possibilities, always ending on that solemn note of “But not today.” I would also promise myself to not forget where I had come from; not now or ever. And, as “Day Zero” fast approaches on that swift moon-lit night, I felt it best to begin recording what had happened since my life truly began.

Before I dive into the significance of tonight, and of the beginning of a whole new chapter of my life tomorrow, I wish to pay home age and respects to my childhood, and to summarize in brief detail. In short, since I was 14 to even today, I have always seen myself as “the traveling outcast”. From every day on, I would sit at my metal and wooden desk. The white walls and the lone window by the desk seemed to humble me every day. The sun, from 3pm to 5pm, would always warm my hands and face as I played away on my mom’s laptop. Every day I would constantly play my MMO games (Massively Multiplayer Online), and the world would be my playground and my night out on the town.

Oh the wonders I have seen in my years! And not many were of fantasy at all! Contrary to your beliefs, many were real locations around the world! My longing to be free and to see the world only fueled my passion to play those MMO games even more. And then of course, there was the people to.

The people I had met were simply extraordinary. They held many a great story from around the world. Their backgrounds and futures astonished me, as did their hospitality to even unknown strangers like myself. Their kindness inspired my caring of others, their stories laid the foundations of my own stories as a writer, and their lifestyles from all over the world only fed fuel to a passionate fire of wanderlust and the drive to see more in my life. If they had not existed, neither would I, and for that I could not be more grateful.

And yet, there was always that constant pain in me as I played. No matter who I became friends with, they would one day leave my life. No matter the location, it would eventually be time to move somewhere else. No matter what, nothing would last, simply because I could never truly be there. Hence, that title of “The Traveling Outcast” was born. From my quiet room, overlooking the MacDonald Run River in Oxford, PA, I could do no more to fit in or to see the world than a bird could from a small cage.

But tomorrow that will all change. Even in less than a hour, since it is now 11:20pm. Because tomorrow, after waiting for more than six years, I will finally leave for my first day of college at Kutztown University. Finally, I will leave this tiny bird cage, or as I would put it; tomorrow I will finally run down that high hill and embrace life with open arms.

Now what do I mean by that statement? Well, since I was only 14 years old, I imagined a person’s childhood like climbing a large hill. Each obstacle was like another step to the top of the hill, and the big decision at the top. Behind us all, the trail that we took, lies our family and our pasts. What we did, and how we did it, being engraved in our memories like hiking trails on a hill.

Once one would reach the top of the hill, as I have tonight, that’s when the real test begins. Far on top of that hill, you can see your whole life before you. All that you can be and what you will be, down in that long valley called life. And yet, something holds you back. You look back behind you, back down that long trail that you took. Along it is all of the comforts that you have come to know and love. Your family. Your friends, your current lifestyle(s). That, is the difficult test. On top of the summit of that hill, which way will you go? Will you even go at all?

Will one at the top embrace life by the horns? And then run down the hill to join life like so many before? Or, maybe, will one panic? After all life is unpredictable, scary even. Would one run back down to their old archaic comforts? Their old ways of life or their lifestyles? Never to leave or embrace more of life than what they have seen on their trails? Or, and the worst decision of them all, would one choke on that fateful decision? Would one simply sit on that hill forever? Watching their lives go by without fail, their minds traumatized by the challenges of life, and the dishonor of returning to older ways? Would one lose their minds, or worse themselves completely, on that high hill top?

I have thought of about this since I was only 14 years old. I never truly knew what I would do in the end, for months I assumed I would choke and just stand there. But because of my past, and of my family and friends, I now sit on the top of this hill, watching the white stars with a clear answer. I will run. I will run for life’s embrace. I will not choke or run away from my fears. Tomorrow, I embrace my life with open arms, at the bottom of this tall lonely hill. My reasoning for this, what some might call as madness, is this. We, as human beings, were never meant to simply “live comfortably”. If God wanted us to live a safe life, he would have given us no dangers or challenges. But, he didn’t. We were meant to live. And to choke on the “what if” ’s? Or to cry to ourselves over the “I can’t” ’s, is simply not an option to me. I want to run, and to cheer for the “I DID it” ‘s, and nothing less will do.

It’s now ten minutes away from when I can finally run, and I cannot wait. One last thing I wish to comment on, before I celebrate in my own little way, is to remember my childhood under one symbolic song. For years, I would celebrate the “end of summer” with a song that symbolized the summer. But now, only one song truly matters, the end of my childhood, and the beginning of something much bigger.

I could not think of any song better than the one that I hard very recently. This song I thought sums up my childhood the best, as well as my lifestyles. It was called “Renegades” by X-Ambassadors. I have taken the liberty to write down the lyrics on the next page, should the song ever be forgot.
(Lyrics are in the physical journal, and with this being on the internet, you can look it up )

Ha-ha, sorry, its 12:51am now. I got lost in that song, and ended up on YouTube listening to all of the songs I know, listening to all of the runner ups for the end of summer celebration. I’m stilling listening to music in fact, I’m listening to “Traverse Town” from the video game “Kingdom Hearts”. Very relaxing and nice to listen to, if I do say so myself ha!

Right well, before I go to sleep, and begin my grand adventure, running down the hill, I wish to dedicate the remainder of this entry to all who have had helped me to become who I am today. I will write down their names here to forever remember them as they would have wished to be remembered. May our paths always meet again, and our friendships never end.

Family: Mom, Dad, David my older brother, and Rachel my younger sister.
Friends: Phillip L., Austin L., Tommy W., Sarah C., Hailey S., and most valuably Jamie L. Fries.
Roblox(2008-2012): NashTank, HWBoy3, Warmdood
Minecraft(2013-Current): AKDShaw, DreamCloud, Hannah1, Micala075
GrallOnline(2013-Current): Yuka K., Kacie L., Jess L., Taylor
Uncharted Waters Online(2015-Current): Sj, Israfelle, MastroClovis, Claussen7, Diaramud, CalaVanRamp, and Layvendermyst
And lastly, an honorable silence for Tony Rony, who died tragically on December 22nd, 2013. He was only 18 then… and only just made it to the top of that hill…

I will make sure to keep the most important events within this journal, for my own posterity’s sake, if not for my future family. I hope my experiences help to teach others to come. Fare thee well for now!